The X


It's not like I am a dork or anything, I just happen to be
well, not myself around guys. My friends swear that I'm
attractive, but I just don't have any confidence in myself
to believe them. There was that one time that Toby, my best
friend, got me a little drunk and I went and kissed some
guy I'd never met before, but it's not like we got that far
or anything. I guess I'm just a bit of a prude. Don't think
I'm naive or anything, I know all about "the birds and the
bees". Besides Toby has as they say "been around the block"
so I get some juicy tidbits from her every once in a while.
I often wonder why, miss popular, Toby even bothers to hang
out with a social nobody like me but I guess I allow her to
be herself instead of the vivacious flirt she has to be
with everybody else.
Toby does get fed up with my social inability's sometimes
and I think I take it a little too seriously. You see since
we were small my dad (my mom died when I was two) has had
me going to Toby's on Tuesday nights because he has to work
late at the plant. At first Toby used to throw temper
tantrums when the "dork" of the third grade would come
over, but either her mother taught her what the Bible says
about being compassionate to orphans or, she just got used
to me. I like to think It was the latter. Even though we
are already seventeen Toby and I still like to keep this
little tradition alive. Every Tuesday night we go shopping,
on her credit card, or she takes me for a spin to the
yogurt store for some fat free strawberry banana. Toby
always gets the real stuff -pure non filtered one hundred
percent fat ice cream, but of course not one ounce of it
every shows on her hips. I once had a theory that she was
bulimic but I kind of let that one slide. On this
particular Tuesday night, however, we had the annual Senior
Thanksgiving dance (don't ask me why it was on a Tuesday)
and of course Toby wanted to go. I'm not usually one to go
to these dances but since it was Tuesday night Toby felt
bad about going without me. She's presently dating the
quarterback of the month and she was terribly excited about
the hotel room Mike and his friend had rented for after the
dance, unfortunately she didn't tell which of Mike's
friends was also sharing the room.
Bill White is the boy that Toby found for me. He moved to
my county for high school, so I just became aware of his
existence three years ago. He is pretty well built, but a
bit on the ugly side, however he seemed nice enough. Not
that I would ever consider getting serious with him, I just
was in Toby's words going to "loosen up a bit and have a
good time". I kept on thinking about exactly how much she
wanted me to "loosen up" but I didn't bother her with such
petty details, the big day was almost here and we had lots
of planning to do.
Chapter Two - The Y
At football practice Mike told me that Toby (his
girlfriend) wanted to set me up with her friend Margaret
Richardson for the big dance. I really never got to know
Margaret at all in school I guess we were just in different
crowds. Come to think of it I'm not sure what crowd she was
in. She has always had the reputation as being a shy timid
girl, but last summer at some bar she was all over a friend
of mine. They say the only thing that stopped them from
actually having sex was that Toby took her home. Supposedly
the thing was totally Margaret's idea, my friend didn't
even know her name. Anyway, I guess that I've always had
success with girls from an early age. One of my fondest
memories is in Kindergarten when Beth Titen, the best
looking girl in the class, put a sticker on my mouth and
then planted a big wet kiss right over the sticker. I guess
most girls find me attractive, not a super model or
anything, but certainly not ugly. I was somewhat excited
for the dance because I had just broken up with my
girlfriend and now I had a date, but also because Mike had
arranged for us to share a hotel room with the girls, yet I
didn't know which Margaret Richardson to expect.
Chapter Three - The X...again
That Monday night we shopped till we dropped. My dad even
gave me an advance on my allowance so I could by those knew
heels I'd been eyeing in Florsheims. The big night came and
we went to Toby's to get dressed. We never go to my house.
Not that I don't want to its just that I feel a little
embarrassed that we live in one bedroom and Daddy sleeps on
the couch, and that we can't afford to keep our house
immaculately clean. Anyway Toby doesn't seem to mind. We
laughed and joked as we put on our makeup. Toby even
slipped a condom into both of our purses as a practical
joke, imagine if Bill ever saw it , I thought , I don't
know what I'd do.
They picked us up in a smashing stretch limo, which made me
think that maybe I should do this more often. Bill was the
perfect gentleman. He helped me into the car, and to Mike's
chagrin, allowed me to sit next to Toby. We got to the
hotel and I somewhat hesitantly moved my way on to the
dance floor (with a little nudging from Toby, I might add).
Boy could Bill dance! In between dances we went to get some
drinks and he was talking to me -like a normal human being
it felt great, I even got into the dancing and I wasn't
bad. All of a sudden he was more attractive, I even thought
that I would love to go out with him again. Midway through
the evening however, Toby and Mike motioned for us to
follow them. I figured they had something important to tell
us so I went over. When I asked Toby what was up she just
smirked and motioned for me to follow her. We slowly weaved
our way out of the ballroom and to my horror stepped into
an elevator.
Chapter Four - The Y's first immpresion 

From the moment I Picked her up I sensed that it would be a
long evening. She basically forced herself into the seat
next to Toby much to the chagrin of my friend Mike, I may
add. When we got to the party I had to do all the dancing.
Even in between dances I had to do most of the talking
although she did seem to be enjoying herself, and boy, did
she look good-even a bit like Toby. Eventually, however,
she got very into it and was all over me on the dance
floor. She seemed almost to jump for joy when Bill
suggested that we go upstairs.
As we walked through the door to room 1610 Toby and Mike
started going at it, on the floor no less. Marge politely
excused herself to go to the bathroom, to powder her nose I
guess. I was starting to like her a little more and I was
looking forward to finally getting to kiss her, but nothing
like what Toby and Mike were doing ever entered my mind-not
with this girl at least. When she came out of the bathroom
it was as if a fire had been lit inside of her. We started
to kiss and grope very roughly. Suddenly as we moved to the
bed she moved her hand over the buckle of her skirt and it
slipped right off. All of a sudden she sticks out her hand
and hands me a condom. I couldn't believe it. You would
never expect this from any girl, let alone Margaret. It was
an open invitation for sex, and I accepted, why shouldn't
I? I applied the condom and we had sex, but to be honest
she was nothing special.
Chapter Five - The trilogies of the X 

As we were riding up the elevator I tried to talk with Toby
but she was "otherwise occupied." When we got into the room
it was as if Toby and Mike were animals, the way they were
going at each other. I figured Toby would be using her
condom, especially after all those lectures on safe sex
she's given me over the years. Her lectures, however, never
really interested me-my being a virgin and all. I went to
the bathroom and locked the door. I was very nervous and I
had to pee. I felt that I really did like Bill, and that he
liked me. It was a difficult decision but I decided that I
would make this my first real kiss, besides I couldn't let
Toby down and embarrass her in front of Mike. When I went
outside he didn't even give me time to tell him how I felt
he just started grabbing me all over. When I tried to push
him away he just got rougher. All of a sudden he pushed me
onto the bed and hit the buckle of my skirt to reveal my
virgin nakedness. I quickly reached into my purse and
handed him the condom! What choice did I have? He was
clearly going to have sex with me, and I couldn't afford to
get pregnant. After he was finished he just got up to get
dressed-that was all. I've never been so embarrassed in my
entire life.
Chapter Six - The reaction of the Y
When we were finished she seemed wiped out so I figured I
would leave her alone. Besides I was still pretty shocked
at what she had done. In all my years of being with women
I'd never seen anything like it. The whole episode reminded
me of the porno flicks I used to steal from my older

All of a sudden she leaps out of the bed and runs down the
hall trying frantically to get dressed. By the look on her
face one might have thought she'd been raped. She was the
one who took of her skirt, and she handed me the condom!
Where does it say that I have to hold her after sex? Toby's
got to knock some sense into her, she wanted it.
As I ran out of room 1610 I was making a beeline for the
principal Bill had raped me and he would pay. The boys had
planned to get us up there, and thoughts of justice raced
through my mind. 

I never made it to the principal or the police. Questions
started flooding my mind. Wouldn't I be made into the
victim? All I wanted to do was kiss him...maybe.
Perhaps I did lead him on? Maybe I hadn't buckled my skirt
correctly coming out of the bathroom. It was a knew dress?
I did hand him the condom! Why didn't Toby stop him? 

But if I wasn't raped then why do I feel so awful?

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