The Death of Ivan Ilyich: Novel Summary: Chapter 11
One night, with Gerasim holding his legs as always, Ilyich again asks himself about the correctness of his life. Tolstoy explains, "It occurred to him that his scarcely perceptible attempts to struggle against what was considered good by the most highly placed people, those scarcely noticeable impulses which he had immediately suppressed, might have been the real thing, and all the rest false."
His wife agrees to get a priest to give him communion. Afterwards, speaking to his wife, he is reminded of the deception that has been both of their lives, and he tells her to leave him alone.