The Advantages of Stupidity


Most people say being stupid will lead no where. They 
claim that it is the worst possible condition in which to 
spend one's life, and if possible, it should be completely 
avoided. They would even suggest if the symptoms of 
stupidity are caught in the early stages, it could easily be 
treated by a surgeon. The most effective method used to do 
this is the chainsaw technique, later described in volume 
two. Yet, perhaps if people took a closer look at some
of the advantages stupidity had to offer, they wouldn't have 
such a negative attitude toward it. After reading this 
paper, one will understand the advantages of stupidity.

Admittedly, stupidity has certain disadvantages. Life isn't 
a bowl of cherries. And being stupid doesn't make it any 
fruitier. Being stupid can annoy even the most sensitive 
people. If one acts stupid, and does it in the wrong crowd, 
like a group of adults, it will seem more immature than 
funny. If one is forced to act stupid while dealing with 
lower life forms, for example, high school teachers, one may 
encounter barriers such as cruelty and insensitivity, with 
the utterance of statements like, "Think with your head 
straight!" or, "You have a brain, use it." Yet these are
all true, there are still many advantages to stupidity. 
The first advantage is very easy to understand. Stupid 
people are never asked to do a lot. Many have noticed that 
people tend to steer away from someone they feel may be 
stupid. This is for a very good reason. The stupidity 
which they posses makes a name for themselves, a name which 
can be very difficult to shake. Possibly, it is a word 
which describes the working habits of the person, such as 
"crappy". Yet, this creates a positive situation for the
stupid person. They will have a lot of free time on their 
hands for more of lifes truly meaningful pleasures. Some of 
these activities are combing facial hair, and counting the 
pixels on a Sony TV. Now, there has been a rumour going 
around that suggests that stupid people have low 
expectations. This is true. They are so stupid that they 
don't realize great from O.K. They could have a Sanyo
cordless phone, but would probably choose instead a Pierre 
Cardin alarm clock telephone, because it comes free with 
their sensamatic folding bed. And someone with the 
"advantage" of stupidity might have a hard time doing 
certain tasks, or setting things up. Yet this isn't all
bad. For example, if a stupid person leaves the chore, and 
comes back to it later, no one will be able to understand 
it. Would they get fired from their job? No. For the very 
simple reason that no one would understand their work except 
for them. The job would have to be given back to the stupid 
person, perhaps with a higher salary, or someone would do it 
for them, leaving them with even more free time! 

Free time is great for brainstorming (Admittedly this seems 
to be a bad choice of words!). Yet the ideas stupid people 
create tend to be original. For example, when was the last 
time someone stupid said something, and made one think about 
it? It seems that people are always talking about someone 
elses dumb idea. An example of such an idea would be, "How 
many stories will that english teacher drop before having a 
stroke?" This would suggest that stupid people may have the 
upper hand when it comes to thinking up original ideas. In 
fact, the next time someone wants an original idea for 
something, they should try talking to their local, community 
stupid person. The reason for this is that while a stupid 
person thinks with his head, he does not do so an organized 
manner. This is why they have so much creativity. By 
thinking in this fashion, their ideas have a natural 
tendency to flow more easily, without the interruptions
which occur from the editing of thoughts that logical people 
would have normally. Thus if someone else should say to 
one, "That was a stupid idea!" one should merely look that 
person straight in the eye, and say, "Thank-you!" This also 
means that the claim, "Stupid minds think alike." is not 
true. All stupid minds have different ideas, each idea 
being original. 

One of the final advantages of stupidity is that stupid 
people are always remembered, even after graduation day. It 
has been noticed how a quiet person is always hard to 
detect, and often remains anonymous. There is a very good 
reason for this. The mind has a hard time keeping quiet 
people in its memory track. But it is much easier and 
pleasing for the mind to remember someone really stupid. 
Anyways, when was the last time one laughed at an idiot in 
ones grade 12 class? When was the last time one laughed at 
the little kid at the back of the room? The evidence here 
proves how stupid people last longer in someones thoughts. 
The largest advantage which arises from stupidity is that it 
takes up 2/3 of DNA storage space, which is excellent for 
keeping stupidity in the family. 

Thus, stupidity clearly has many advantages, as long as 
someone is smart enough to use them! It is important to 
understand that stupid people are like all other humans 
physically. Yet, because of the difference between smart 
and stupid people, smart human beings should give them some 
breathing space. Teachers can learn that someone graced 
with stupidity, deserves more respect. After all, they are 

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