What would you do if I bludgeoned your skull? Would we still be the dearest of friends? Or if I cut out your tongue with a blade that was dull would then our relationship end? What if I make your face horribly scarred Or poured sulfuric acid on you? If I caused your flesh to be blackened and charred Would a simple apology do? Or lets say I severed your spine with a saw or drove a truck over your knees Could your conscience permit you to call in the law If I asked you not to and said "please"? What if I had an affair with your mother Then later conveyed my regret? Would we remain such good pals with each other? Could you forgive and forget? And do you suppose if I blow-torched your cat Or buried your children alive Could you ever laugh off behavior like that? Could our beautiful friendship survive? If I blew up your car, doused your wife with hot tar Or spread lies about you and young men Do you think it will alter the way that we are? Could we ever be buddies again? I wonder sometimes in my insecure mind Are we really as tight as can be? If I ever upset you I hope I will find That we are friends unconditionally.